Why is this so hard?

"That's what she said." As much as I love "The Office", the best part about this joke isn't its evocation of Michael Scott, it's how it can suddenly send a docile conversation between friends into a bawdy frenzy of laughter that is often not unwelcome.

This rant is probably only going to be half as potent as it ought to be since I don't really have this problem, yet that in no way means that it isn't important. It's easy enough to say that saying "relationships are tough" is cliche; however, it's just as sophomoric to respond by saying "tough it out". Life isn't something that can be pegged so easily by quick, easy responses, and anyone who thinks it can has one eye open at best. To be clear, I don't intend to discuss romantic relationships but rather interpersonal relationships of any kind.

Let's start off by talking about how natural it is for people to want closeness with others (if only for the reason that it is). On my first day of kindergarten, I went up to another boy and asked him if he wanted to be best friends with me. He said yes, and we were best friends for the next nine years (we were never as close after high school separated us into different social circles, though we were always friends and still are). Even though it's impossible to be that blunt after those early days of elementary school, it's only natural for anyone to search out others to share life with. This is clearly much easier for people who have a support base well-established and near at hand, though it's easy to forget that not everyone has this luxury. I know that, last Summer, I was somewhat nervous about how I'd be spending my time outside of class since I was just starting at UCLA as most of my friends were graduating. Fortunately, a vacancy opened up at my friend Matt's apartment, and I jumped at the chance to live with a friend. I went from having a somewhat shaky support base to having a trusted friend at my place of residence, and I don't think I'll ever forget just how lucky I've been.

Another friend of mine hasn't been nearly as lucky with building relationships where he has none. He moved to Michigan in order to work (for a very appealing salary, mind you), but he's found it to be nearly impossible to establish a support base there (it's a company town and most of the employees have families already). Now he spends his money--the reason he moved out there--on weekend trips to visit his friends in other states. There's just no way any person can live well without a friend or two who can just be there.

We're all looking for kindred spirits to share bits of life with. Sometimes you'll get lucky and fall into a situation with like-minded people, sometimes you'll want to run home as quick as you can just to feel like you're among people you trust. Either way, relationships are easy to take for granted and frustrating to be without, and everyone needs at least a little help to ease the burden of being human beings.

The Ex File

So, as many of you may recall, I was dating Dustin over the summer of 2007. Needless to say, our relationship hit a rough patch shortly after my arrival here in Ithaca. I thought I had, initially and naively, made the right "pick" (my apologies for the use of farming vernacular, but I find it appropriate to think that a piece of ripe, crisply juicy fruit is the equivalent to a decent, male companion). As always, this long-distance shindig turned out to be far worse than imagined in my funnel vision.

I never openly admitted to this, but Dustin and I were still informally dating (and semi-canoodling) during winter break--despite our breakup, which happened just two months before. What you guys may not be cognizant of is the fact that immediately after the breakup that I had personally proposed, our relationship exhibited all shades of gray. While neither of us (yes, myself included) were too thrill in the aftermath of the breakup, Dustin went on an emotional rampage. He had decided, as a way to mend his broken heart, by disassociating himself with me and removing me from his social circle. Um, how childish can someone who is 5 years my senior be? Apparently, very easily. It hit me, at that very moment, that I was, perhaps, a little too mature and too much for him to handle. Though I was disheartened, I believe that I dealt with the situation in a very amicable and tactful way. Another epiphany came right up my alley a few weeks after that: "Maybe, we're just not meant to be." And that's precisely the impetus I needed to move onward and forward with my life.

Just recently, Dustin took some time out of his busy schedule as a graduate student to tell me that he started dating someone new. I was like: "That's great! Congratulations!" At first, my reaction was a grateful one--grateful that someone else had come along to sweep the mess I had created. That didn't last too long. The next day, I felt all the pangs of loneliness and stings of revenge served on a delightfully frigid platter in very, heavily-portioned servings. Once again, Dustin had reinforced the extent of childish behavior he could achieve. What kind of insensitive bastard would openly declare to a person he had just broken up with that he has started dating someone new? Does a grace period not exist? Am I the only odd one out when it comes to that sorta mentality? I still question his sincerity and friendship, even now that the melodrama have significantly died down.

I am really starting to reconsider this whole "gay" thing; after all, it's just a phase right? :P

**On a more positive and wholly unrelated note, I got a 96 on my Gerontology op-ed paper! Loves it.

- T