The Ex File

So, as many of you may recall, I was dating Dustin over the summer of 2007. Needless to say, our relationship hit a rough patch shortly after my arrival here in Ithaca. I thought I had, initially and naively, made the right "pick" (my apologies for the use of farming vernacular, but I find it appropriate to think that a piece of ripe, crisply juicy fruit is the equivalent to a decent, male companion). As always, this long-distance shindig turned out to be far worse than imagined in my funnel vision.

I never openly admitted to this, but Dustin and I were still informally dating (and semi-canoodling) during winter break--despite our breakup, which happened just two months before. What you guys may not be cognizant of is the fact that immediately after the breakup that I had personally proposed, our relationship exhibited all shades of gray. While neither of us (yes, myself included) were too thrill in the aftermath of the breakup, Dustin went on an emotional rampage. He had decided, as a way to mend his broken heart, by disassociating himself with me and removing me from his social circle. Um, how childish can someone who is 5 years my senior be? Apparently, very easily. It hit me, at that very moment, that I was, perhaps, a little too mature and too much for him to handle. Though I was disheartened, I believe that I dealt with the situation in a very amicable and tactful way. Another epiphany came right up my alley a few weeks after that: "Maybe, we're just not meant to be." And that's precisely the impetus I needed to move onward and forward with my life.

Just recently, Dustin took some time out of his busy schedule as a graduate student to tell me that he started dating someone new. I was like: "That's great! Congratulations!" At first, my reaction was a grateful one--grateful that someone else had come along to sweep the mess I had created. That didn't last too long. The next day, I felt all the pangs of loneliness and stings of revenge served on a delightfully frigid platter in very, heavily-portioned servings. Once again, Dustin had reinforced the extent of childish behavior he could achieve. What kind of insensitive bastard would openly declare to a person he had just broken up with that he has started dating someone new? Does a grace period not exist? Am I the only odd one out when it comes to that sorta mentality? I still question his sincerity and friendship, even now that the melodrama have significantly died down.

I am really starting to reconsider this whole "gay" thing; after all, it's just a phase right? :P

**On a more positive and wholly unrelated note, I got a 96 on my Gerontology op-ed paper! Loves it.

- T