To my dismay, the quality of friendships I have been pining for in a collegiate environment is far from reality. I have found myself entangled in three social circles, since the beginning of my journey in obtaining an Ivy League diploma that guarantees limitless opportunities and, for some, secures a chance at having a lucrative and socially-advantageous future. Being a part of three social circles isn't something that I'd exactly be proud of or gloat about; as a matter of fact, it demonstrates how the Cornell community itself and at large is so severely fragmented and, quite bluntly, as loose as Paris Hilton's gaping vagina after multiple sex-capades. There appears to be no common ground that glues the students together. When such gluing does occur, it is only limited to certain, social clusters that pervade campus-wide. Everyone seems to settle for convenient friendships with those in their immediate proximity. Case in point: Supposedly close friends I had last semester live in another residential house 5 minutes away from me, yet we no longer eat or hang out together. Our interaction with one another have been reduced to platitudinous greetings and farewells.
It saddens me greatly to think that I might have to cohabit with this dismal reality for the next two years. I don't think I can even begin to scratch the surface of this "Big Red" farce as to why people here are so seemingly incapable of confiding in each other and letting go of their inhibitions. While having coffee with my friend Caroline last night, she briefly mentioned in passing that there is this girl who would converse with her after their club meetings but would never proceed to make plans for future gatherings or express any interest in further developing their friendship beyond the level of being acquaintances. It struck me, at the moment of Caroline's revelation, that this is precisely the problem I invariably observe on the Cornell campus. On the one hand, it is easy to meet new people within the sizable student population; on the other hand, it is frustratingly difficult to maintain flourishing and faithful friendships.
Although Organic Chemistry is one of the toughest courses an undergraduate student can take, I believe there is a greater obstacle ahead that is more self-defeating and demoralizing than any class--and that is learning how to navigate the social anatomy of college life. I rest my case. Now share yours.
7 comments:
TOMMY COME HOME!!!! come back to the horrable drivers in MPK. =D
It'll all be over soon enough (i.e. in a year).
maybe use not so big wards w/people n party moore!
Uh...the person who posted just now is obviously a dumbass. Partying more does not equate to having better friends. And maybe, you should learn how to spell correctly next time you read this blog. Kthx.
Please excuse him, that's just internet humor, although why he thought that would be appropriate here is beyond me.
"I honestly came to Cornell, aside from its academic prestige, looking to forge life-long friendships (on some level, at least)."
You can't force close friendships. Most people don't enter college actively seeking close friends, they are there to learn, grow, and experience new things. Friendships are forged as a byproduct of that. You will make hundreds of friends at school and four years later probably only talk to 10 of them. 20 years later, maybe only two. But if every time you find a connection with someone, you begin to make plans for a lifetime of friendship, people will distance themselves from you. It's like a girl who starts talking about marriage after the first date, no one wants to hear that.
You're obviously very clever, but it's that same intelligence that can put you at a disadvantage when trying to make close friends. Consider that no one may want to hear that you're going to an Ivy League school or care that you're taking a difficult class. No one cares about anyone being right, they care about someone being fun.
And even if you do everything "right," it's all a numbers game anyway. The more you get out there and meet different people, the more chance you stand.
Ignore the douches from last semester, don't let anyone else's story back a self-fullfilling prophecy of doom, get out there, and party.
Post a Comment